Happy or am I just existing? Reposted

I just want to be happy. I never was a child that fantasized about their future but I've always known I wanted to be successful. Honestly, I began thinking of aspirations during my first semester of undergrad. In being successful, that meant, completing my undergraduate studies and landing a great position within my field. All other aspects of life, my souls salvation, marriage, children, and death never crossed my mind; but now! Sheesh! Currently, I've obtained my Bachelor of Science degree in criminal justice but I have yet to land a position within the field. The current state of the economy is definitely putting a wrench in landing a position. I've taken various state and local exams... rankings *UGH* How about military personnel get first preference? I pass with flying colors for what?!!?!?!! don't get me wrong I respect our troops but i mean really. :sidebar: I'm a little salty about scoring a 92 on the trooper exam and they stopped about 1000 candidates before my rank! UGH!!!
I currently hold a position of a resource service coordinator. It is a management level position within the human services field. It isn't what I desire but it's fulfilling. I believe when God doesn't give you exactly what you want you can still see the good in a situation and realize your niche. Since graduation, I've had various jobs in management. I enjoy managing people because I am able to share my knowledge as well as learn from them. With time, i've realized my academic career and prior management experience coupled ignited my desire to carry out administration roles within the criminal justice system. My aspirations within criminal justice or alternate career paths gear towards public service. Public service is a service performed for the benefit of the public or its institution. I can get with that! So, with that being said, I've decided to change my academic path. I began a public administration program which is great but i believe it isn't the right program at the time. I've been looking at a organizational leadership program and it is ideal. I believe the degree will strategically position me professionally, which will in result aid in my career objectives. So, I'm feeling good about the change. I'm really excited about the program. Stay tuned for updates!
I still have the fire to work within the criminal justice system. I'm patiently waiting on NYPD...don't judge me! regardless of how the media and public portray the agency it has a lot of good. I mean, the opportunities are endless! I'm just about done with them just gotta get over that fence...lol (insider) Then, wait for them to reach my exam number...ugh! Back in undergrad my professor pushed me to apply to nypd but i turned my nose to it. The starting salary at the time was 25,000. I thought that was disrespectful...lol Now, looking back, i should of! I had no children (thank the living God that is still the case), only a year left in undergrad and no real bills. Money being my major concern I was also worried about being able to finish school. Alot of my classmates dropped their studies to pursue a career with the agency. I thought it was foolish. I mean, I can't have any regrets I just have to move forward. And, in moving forward, I will have more education and experience that I truly believe can be applied to the field.
Well, this turned out to be a long post :-/ had a lot on the brain. And, during the release I've decided I'm happy! God has placed me where I am for a reason and I do have purpose. I know this but ya girl gets a little discouraged at times. YES!!!! Needed an outlet and it was great!
Until nextime,
Me